I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
