Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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