The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
