dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
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uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
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what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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