I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's official drugs can't kill me
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize