you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize