Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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