my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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