it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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