goodnight i made you a song goodbye
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE