I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
