I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Girls should come with a carfax report
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
