Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize