I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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