he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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