Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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