He called his prostate his "boner button".
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize