He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
