It was confusing and full of hummus
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires