Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
