Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I stole a fireplace last night.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
