Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
