'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize