Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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