i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
