When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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