Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just pee around me
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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