It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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