My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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