your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter