My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.