Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
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I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
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I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had