oh good, I think they're gone
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.