That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad