ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
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and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
What changed your mind?
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You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic