You really coming over, don't trick.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?