Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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