A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize