he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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