we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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