i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.