I swear she didn't look like that last week.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
