worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
