Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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