i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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