if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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