She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
