Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
