she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
