I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
