bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
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I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
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I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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