Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We left the knife in your bed.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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