I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize