Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
