I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.