I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?