Sry I called you an 8
I can tuck mytits in my pants
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance